Part 3, Chapter 40
Death is never easy. Even though a husband and wife may promise “all the days of my life,” no one really can plan for life without their spouse. Most of us dream of living until a good old age, we don’t plan for something to happen earlier. In a normal circumstance, one of the spouses will die before the other. When this happens we have to think (the surviving spouse) how are we going to live life?
There are different factors which affect if someone should remain a widow: are there young children that need to be taken care of, are we a young widow, are we longing for a second marriage and is God calling me to get married? If we answered yes, than it may be that we are not called to stay a widow and should seek a second marriage.
Still, there are some who are called to be widows. There is a difference between enduring widowhood and embracing it. To be a widow, in the way that St. Francis De Sales is encouraging, we need to live widowhood from the heart. “That the widow be one not in body only, but in heart also; that is to say, that she be fixed in an unalterable resolution to continue in her widowhood” (Introduction to the Devout Life, 153). Death brings about widowhood in a married relationship, but that doesn’t mean that a widow wants to live it from the heart. “All such renunciation of second marriage must be done with a single heart, in order to fix the affections more entirely on God, and to seek a more complete union with him” (Introduction to the Devout Life, 154). Thus, someone who is called to be a widow in the heart needs to be prayerful. “Prayer should be the widow’s chief occupation” (Introduction to the Devout Life, 155). Widows can make a different out in the world by their happiness in living out widowhood and they can demonstrate this by being prayer warriors. What a gift are holy and pure widows. These widows are needed for a holy and healthy Church.